Johnrayy's Bodacious Blog

34

johnrayy — Fri, 07 May 2010 04:21:56 +0000

Soon I will be 34.
I used to be 24.
34 is not that far off from 24.
Yet, when I was 24, the world
seemed to offer so much more.

When I look back at my life,
it seemed as though,
everything I touched
turned to gold.

Do I write this poem
to get sympathy?
No!
Do I write this poem so I can wine a little?
I don’t know, maybe. I guess so.

All I know is, my life hasn’t turned
out the way I wanted it to,
the way I used to imagine it would,
back when I went to school.

I remember a time when I was young,
I found myself living over in Portland.
I liked my life better, when I didn’t live in ‘the couve.’
I don’t know, maybe, it’s because I was in the right groove.

When I was young, I was going to college and
I was moving in forward motion.
Why my life has turned out the way it has,
I haven’t the faintest notion!

In Portland, people seemed more passionate,
more charismatic.
In Vancouver everyone’s a ‘thinker,’ they are
more systematic.
Maybe, it’s not Portland I prefer to Vancouver,
maybe it‘s the past, when everything was newer.

I guess what I’m saying is: I would like a different life!
But, I guess it’s all anguish and different levels of strife!
For, we can not change the past!

No! It stay’s where it is!
But, what we can do,
is have today and choose to live.

A poem for Tyler’s birthday

johnrayy — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 06:19:51 +0000

It must be the 22nd of April,
a few weeks before May,
And behold, today is Tyler’s birthday.
Here’s something I think you should know,
I never had a little bro,
but if I did and I could have chosen any infant,
I would have chosen Tyler, in an instant.
We would have played strategy games from infancy.
And it would be him, to whom, I’d owe my codependency.
He, me and Tumbril, all would have laughed and had a good time.
We would have danced, played, shared and probably yelled– no this is mine.
He is truly a good friend,
and he makes my heart grin.
We would have had a lot of fun,
we would have danced under the
Golden Sun.

Golden Sun

johnrayy — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 05:07:01 +0000

Golden Sun.
I shiver in the dark.
Golden Sun.
Shine upon my heart.
Golden Sun.
How far away you are.
Golden Sun.
Bright and morning star.

Golden Sun.
I hide behind the moon.
Golden Sun.
Let your glory fill this room.
Golden Sun.
Will you come and Light my way?
Golden Sun.
Stay close to me, in each and every day.
Golden Sun.

A Moment Captured

johnrayy — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 04:37:26 +0000

A Moment Captured

How do you capture a moment?

I said to the Blue Jay, “how do you capture a moment?”
He began to sing out with all of his lungs.
His song stretched out to the heavens.
It was the most beautiful song ever sung.

I said to the humming bird, “how do you capture a moment?”
He began to slow down, and even time itself came to a stop.
His wings became still and he glided in mid flight.
I could see him flutter as he stopped there, in the night.
Muscles popped out of his neck as he drank from his nectar.
I reached out my hand and touched him as he flew to another sector.

How do you capture a moment?

I saw a lion and I asked him the same question as before, “how do you capture a moment?”
He slowly crouched down, on all fours and began to creep up on his prey.
Bounding, from out of nowhere he tore into his victim, full of neigh.
He was very powerful, with his instinctual motion.

“How do you capture a moment?” I asked a deer, who was standing by.
She tore her hooves into the ground and then she really began to fly.
She ran gently and lightly, right up the hill side.
She ran smoothly and swiftly, without loosing stride.

How do I capture a moment?

I asked myself this question and I waited for a reply.
I would go to the ocean, that’s the first thing I’d try.
I would lay down on the sand and watch the moments pass me by.
I would watch the waves as they danced all around, on the shore.
Lying there, I would run my hands through the sand.
I would think of my life and all the times I had in store.
Listening to the sea and it’s soft little rumble,
I would close my eyes and let my thoughts start to tumble.
I would imagine the seagulls as they soared from up above.
I would take in the scent of the sea and remember my first love.

To fully capture a moment, the ocean’s where I’d be..
For, there’s nothing quite as lovely, as the sea.

The Three P’s of Eternity

johnrayy — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 04:04:53 +0000

E–TERN-I-T-Y, Infinite, FOREVER…
How long is eternity?
Or, maybe that’s the wrong question.
Because it’s not how long!
Eternity is forever and so it has no end.
It goes on forever. And ever. And ever.

e    t
p            u
r                  a
e               l
P

In-corporeal– that is what we are..
Finite– that is who we are..

Or, is it?

Are we just beings with a limited existence?
Are we just humans with no real permanence?
Fleeting, like shadows– that is what we are..
A disappearing mist– that is who we are..

Or, is it?

Everything we see, tells us we are spinning out of control..
Everything we are tells us this world has to end..
How could and end not come to this existence?
Look at all the death and chaos..
Just look at all the suffering..

r s
e        e
P              v
e                e
r         c
a n

But, if we have an end then what happened to forever?
What of numbers, algebra and science?
What of arts, crafts and music?
What will happen to it all, when the end comes?
Was there ever even a point to any of this?
What is existence?
Do we even exist?

I hold a rock in my hand..
In it I see simplicity and the mysteries of the universe.
I see no numbers, no math and no science.
I see no art, nor beauty, or even music.
All I see is a rock as plain as it could be.
There seems to be, no real point to it’s existence.
It’s just a rock!!

Or, is it?

For, this rock holds all of the answers to our lives.
In this rock we see our past, our present and our future.
Rocks are used to build, they are the very fabrics of society.
They are also used to destroy or even to kill..
So, a rock has the potential to harm or to lift up.
It’s existence isn’t dependant on it’s function.
But, it’s function does give it purpose.
And it is in our purpose, that eternity has relevance
For, we must be here for longer than we realize..
And we must exist for more then what we can see..

r s
e          p
P                  e
c
t         e
i   v

EVER—LAST–ing, permanent, without end….

Terra Part II: Timed Arrival

johnrayy — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:54:41 +0000

“Where is that man?” Terra said. “I am sick of this.” She was not pleased. He had left his socks rolled up in his shoes again. This time she would not let it slide. There was an argument coming and she meant for it to come. “Honeyyy!”

Terra entered the room, her pregnant belly poking out, looking as beautiful as she ever had. Yet, there was something different about her demeanor. She was quite disgruntled! There he is just sitting there watching that TV.

“Is something wrong baby?” Brent said.

“You know these socks don’t just crawl into the washer by themselves!” Terra said. She could see the look of wonderment that afflicted her husband’s face. It told her that he had no idea what she was talking about. She suddenly felt embarrassed. She was so sure he had been testing her patience with those socks. Ever since they were first married almost ten months ago, she had been going through the same routine with his socks. He would always roll them up and put them in his shoes, which he would kick over into the corner. Terra would pick up his socks, put them in the washer, dry them and then put them away for him. And he had never seemed to notice. She didn’t used to get bothered by it, but lately it was becoming a bitter annoyance.

Brent immediately turned the television off, noticing that his wife was distressed. “Honey, what uh– what’s the matter?”

Terra explained to him what had been bothering her.

Brent felt ashamed. Terra was nine months pregnant now, it couldn’t have been easy for her to pick up after him. He stood up, looked intently into her eyes and assured her that he would never leave his socks like that again.

Terra knew immediately that he never would. His eyes were so reassuring. What a strong man! All Terra could see was love in his eyes. In a pouty, yet sultry voice, Terra said, “They didn’t just crawl into the dryer by themselves.”

“I know they didn’t,” Brent said, as he caressed the back of her neck and gave her a kiss.

This man loved her so much, it radiated out of him. He had responded to her so quickly with a humble and contrite heart. She wanted him. She wanted to be intimate with her man. Although, she knew it was a silly thought. I mean, the baby could be coming at any moment.

Brent had heard the tone in her voice and saw the way she looked at him. After all, it could help induce labor, he thought.

Now, Terra was crying. “What’s the matter honey?” Brent asked.

“I don’t even know,” she said. She was so sick and tired of her emotions going haywire. She was ready to have this baby. Suddenly, she cringed in pain…

Stay Tuned…

Next week:

Terra Part III: “Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?”

Terra Part 1: I Am Blessed

johnrayy — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:40:27 +0000

The words were still fresh in his mind as he looked down on his beautiful wife, who was sitting in the front row. It had only been three months since they got married. This would be the first of many sermons that Brent would deliver as the new head pastor of Lakeview Community Church. He decided he would speak on faithfulness. “It seems like it will make a good first message,” he had told his wife.

So he started his message. All eyes were on him as he began to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Brent had trouble that first morning. His thoughts were elsewhere. He kept thinking about how blessed he was, how amazing it was that he was living out his dream. His father had given him the reigns of the small Church they had grown up in. He was fresh out of Bible College. Four years had flown by so fast, and here he was at the ripe young age of twenty three, ready to take on the role of head pastor. Oh sure, he still had some seminary classes to finish up — some Greek and Hebrew classes — but he was ready. The Church had ordained him, and now it was his time. Time for me to shine — in the light of God’s glory, he thought.

It had been four years since his father had died in an unexpected battle with cancer. His father had handled that situation so amazingly. It still brought great satisfaction to Brent as he remembered the grace in which his father had passed. Having a faithful and thankful heart, in the midst of life’s strongest adversities. That was his father’s legacy. All in all, he had been prepared for his father’s death. It had taken several years, and his father was sixty three. His dad had lived a very full life, even if that life had been cut a little short.

***

“What did you think?”

“What did I think of what?” Terra asked, even though she knew.

“What did you think of my first sermon?”

“I’ve heard you deliver sermons before, that wasn’t your first,” Terra replied.

Brent laughed. She is going to make me ask, he thought. “How do you think I did, in my first sermon as the head pastor of my father’s Church, Lakeview Community Church.”

Terra looked up at her husband with fire in her eyes, put her arm on his shoulder and said, “You did fine — as always.”

Kind words. Kind words from my beautiful wife, Brent thought. She didn’t have an unkind word in her vocabulary. Even still, Brent knew that he had not performed that well in his debut.

“Your thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, that’s all,” Terra said, as though she were reading his mind. She put her other arm around his waist and said, “Don’t worry honey, you will have many more times to awe the masses.” Then she smiled playfully as she gave him a kiss.

Brent’s heart leapt with thankfulness as he silently praised God for giving him such an awesome wife.

***

“Honey!” Terra came running out of the room, screaming out loud. She had a giddy look in her eyes.

“What’s wrong honey?” Brent came running at full speed out of his study. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and you could hear the sound of birds chirping outside.

“Honey, you won’t believe it, you won’t,” Terra said as she stood there, her eyes dancing.

“Sweetie, what’s going on?” Brent asked, his voice had changed from a panic to a smooth low tone.

“I’m pregnant baby, I’m pregnant,” Terra replied.

Brent sat down on the ottoman. He had been caught off guard. Emotions swept over him in a fury. “You’re pregnant…”

Catch my next installment of Terra, “[Timed Arrival],” this Saturday evening.

“You may kiss the bride.”